You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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