i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
