I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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