"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
