only you would photoshop your dick
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
