I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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