Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
