Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
