Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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