i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
