I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
