his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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