Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
