Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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