Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
