Im at strip club and am horny
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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