it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
