After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
