I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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