Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
