bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
