You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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