Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
