is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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