There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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