It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
