You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
