bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
