So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
