On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
