Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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