I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
