I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
