if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
