I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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