Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
