Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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