I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just invented taco cereal.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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