Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
