i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
