I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
