i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
