1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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