what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
