think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You don't make any sense
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