i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
