just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
