She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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