Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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