idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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